Calling All Writers!

[Nate]

In an PM exchange there has been discussion about spicing up the fight text recently. Apparently some of you out there desire 37 or more pieces of flare with each fight! I'll be the first to admit that the fight results favor function over form. This is for a couple of reasons, one being I wanted to make sure the message of what is going on is clear. The other reason is I would often times put in place holder text with the plan to go back and finalize it with something snappy. That hasn't always happened. I also wanted the fights to be easy to read and organizing them into little blocks of text representing each gladiator seemed like a good idea for that.

Having said that, I would be happy to have more of a "show not tell" style of fight dialogue with more exciting and engaging prose and less flat and mechanical sentences. Who among us is a budding writer or would like to test out their creative writing skills? If there is enough interest in something like this I will look into a way where I teach you how the game engine reads template sentences for various actions and then you can go crazy with your mad writing skills and send them to me to be included into the game.

There will obviously need to be a level of quality to meet and if the sentences sent back don't meet that standard, unfortunately they can not be included. Command of the English language, proper spelling and grammar are just as important as creativity (If English is not your first language, don't let that stop you from giving it a go if you are interested, you might surprise yourself with what you can come up with!). This is something you would do because you are a fan of the game and would like to be a part of it. The question of being rewarded with trophies for doing this has been asked and the answer to that is no, not officially, however, I'm sure I can think of something to acknowledge your contribution. If it turns out someone does an exceptional job perhaps an additional bonus could happen which may or may not include trophies. I don't want people to feel like they are getting "paid" to do "work" or only doing it because they are getting "paid". That mindset can lead to problems that everyone is better off without. Knowing you are a part of something you enjoy playing is the main reward.

If you are interested in doing something like this please let me know here so I can gauge the level of interest. Thanks!

Good luck in the Pit!

-Nate-

[FrosteeFyre]

I'd say my mastery over the English language is anything but complete, or impressive, but I'd definitely be willing to attempt to contribute to this effort as a "budding writer". I wouldn't expect any payment, like you say, nor can I guarantee anything extravagant; but if you are looking for a budding writer I'd be happy to help.

[Kreegan]

I comand meni Inglish. Can join?

Can you give more details about the general idea behind this thing? Adding extra blocks of text between the "action points" (say, the hit exchange)? Adding more details to the current descriptions (say, how many pieces are left from that liver that your gladiator loses 5-6 times a day)? Adding class-specific details for Rage, War and Theatrics? All of these and more?

[Adoede]

Well, count me in

[Alba Kebab]

I've enjoyed writing name suggestions for conquest, and was thinking about writing up some dungeons or background flair when custom conquest is finally rolling.

I'd love to help as well.
So I'm guessing text blocks would follow something like: [weapon] hit [body part] for [damage effect] and [flavor] or somesuch? (btw, I have an extensive command of English vocabulary such as somesuch)

[Dainoji]

Count me in too!

[Nate]

Looks like there is some interest in this so I'll do some work to make it possible for others to contribute.

Since Adoede is the champion for this cause perhaps he would like to explain more what he would like to see and those of you that are interested in this can brainstorm collaboratively in this thread. I suggest taking a current fight in its entirety and transforming it into what you imagine the "final product" would be. This will be a good exercise to turn "cool ideas and thoughts" into reality and along the way you'll find the devil in the details. Keep in mind the fight reports still need to convey all the same information like fighting styles, aiming and defending locations, etc. While I am all for having more form, it can not be at the expense of a loss of function.

I look forward to reading your "translated" fight reports.

Good luck in the Pit!

-Nate-

[Adoede]

Here's some excerpts from ideas I threw out to Nate:

In a nutshell, the fight dialogue sometimes falls a bit flat and simply doesn’t fire up your imagination the way it potentially could. So switching to more of a “show” rather than “tell” form of writing might help make the fights feel a bit less “simplistic” and add to the excitement factor of the fights. The quality of the fight dialogues is one of the key things that separates the good arena games from the great ones.

For example:
OGROBLIN drives towards VAARGUS and tries to cut into him.
- This would be more evocative if it said something like:
OGROBLIN arcs his weapon swiftly through the air, hurtling towards his opponent.

The next line:
OGROBLIN looks to seriously damage VAARGUS’s armour! (-Sunder Armour-)
- Nobody tries to damage armor...How about:
OGROBLIN unleashes a sundering blow! (-Sunder Armor-)

The following line:
OGROBLIN connects with his PRIMEVAL BATTLE AXE OF THE BLOOD GODS causing crippling injuries! (+568 Damage)
- “connects”? Seems too weak. How about:
OGROBLIN’s PRIMEVAL BATTLE AXE OF THE BLOOD GODS lands with crippling force!

Another example:
VAARGAS fiercely shoves his ANCIENT TRIDENT OF THE BLOOD GODS forward stunning the crowd.
- “fiercely shoves”? Shoving isn’t fierce. How about:
VAARGUS ducks low and throws his momentum behind a devastating twisting thrust!

The next line:
VAARGUS attempts to destroy his adversary
- too vague and unimaginative. If it is a basic attack, it’d be better to just say:
VAARGUS makes a lunging attack using his ANCIENT TRIDENT OF THE BLOOD GODS

One more example:
VAARGUS uses his ANCIENT TRIDENT OF THE BLOOD GODS to send a deadly assault against OGROBLIN.
- “to send a deadly assault” isn’t colorful enough. What exactly does that look like? What am I supposed to be imagining when reading that line?

I think you get my drift.

Editing all the basic attacks / critical attacks / critical dodges and parries for each weapon to this language style is a lot of work, but that's what's in the cards here.

[Adoede]

Another point about the fight dialogues is that there is a lack of detail regarding the initiative battles taking place throughout the fights. Most fights tend to be one person attacking, then the other attacking, etc… But where is the detail about the vitally-important struggle to seize the initiative? Nate has said he designed the fights to just show each fighter’s actions in one block, but that means there is no dialogue that shows what is happening in the struggle to see who gets to act next in the fight.

Typical fight where glads basically just take turns attacking:
OGROBLIN hustles frantically around his opponent.
OGROBLIN drives towards VAARGUS and tries to cut into him.

VAARGUS moves and hops around his enemy.
VAARGUS fiercely shoves his ANCIENT TRIDENT OF THE BLOOD GODS forward stunning the crowd.

VAARGUS whips around with his off hand.
VAARGUS attempts to destroy his adversary.

OGROBLIN charges frantically back and forth.
OGROBLIN leaps forward viciously pummeling VAARGUS with his PRIMEVAL BATTLE AXE OF THE BLOOD GODS.

VAARGUS moves and springs around his opponent.
VAARGUS uses his ANCIENT TRIDENT OF THE BLOOD GODS to send a deadly assault against OGROBLIN.

Having the details of the initiative battle going on between the glads is what makes the fights read smoothly and with a greater sense of continuity. And these little details play a big role in helping the reader envision exactly what is happening in the fight.

Example of winning the initiative battle:
MADIGANT dodges the oncoming blow
Weapons clash as the gladiators vie for the initiative (indicating an initiative battle)
MADIGANT quickly seizes on an opening to attack! (indicating Madigant won the initiative roll)
MADIGANT unleashes a breathtaking arcing slash with his GREATSWORD!
What a DEVASTATING attack!

OR

Example of losing the initiative battle:
MITHROS easily evades the attack leaping to his left!
MITHROS is looking for the counter-attack (indicating Mithros trying to take the initiative away)
ZODAK moves furiously to and fro (indicating Zodak wouldn’t let him)
ZODAK’s LONGSWORD sings as it cuts through the air!
MITHROS masterfully shifts his body out of harm’s way
MITHROS leaps forward in a blur of motion
The warriors dance around each other testing each other’s defenses (another initiative battle)
ZODAK moves decisively on the attack! (Again Zodak wins the initiative/decisiveness battle)
ZODAK lunges forward with a powerful twisting thrust!
MITHROS takes a blow to his LEFT LEG
MITHROS is brought to his knees by the force of the blow!

Just by having a line or two of dialogue indicating an initiative clash is taking place followed by one that shows which glad seized the initiative and what they did with it makes a huge difference in helping the dialogue come alive. All of the sudden it is easy to picture the battle taking place as you read the fight dialogue. These initiative battles don’t have to follow every attack, but just whenever there is a shift of the initiative from one glad to the next – or a potential shift that gets overpowered.

[Nate]

This thread is starting to stray a little off topic so I'm going to reel it back in. It appears you may have a fundamental misunderstanding on how the underlying game is designed. PoW is a skills based game. A large factor of what makes up a gladiator IS his skills. A gladiator in the blood god bracket with a 10 weapon skill vs a gladiator in the Champions bracket with a level 10 in his weapon are almost equal in regards to handling their weapon. Based on the attributes that modify the skill that are listed in the tooltip one may be better than the other if those attributes are higher. If you want bigger crits, train in skills or equip gear that affects that. If you want to parry more, use a fighting style that offers that and train in skills that offer defense, etc. A gladiator with a higher level in a skill will use it more often, that is your gradation. A gladiator doesn't magically become awesome the older he gets or have special abilities granted to him because he reached a new bracket. He gets better by careful planning and manually building up his skill build in addition to his gear and strategy. As a gladiator levels there are advantages in the form of increased health and a few others but by and large a gladiator is his strategy, skills and gear.

This thread isn't about changing the underlying game engine or mechanics, it is about making the current fight text "more engaging". This is really just cosmetic.

Again, I encourage those interested to take existing fights in their entirety and line by line change it to how you think the final report would look like in your mind once it has been translated into a "show not tell" format with engaging sentences, etc. Each line need not be present in the translated version and additional sentences may need to be added to realize your vision. When done post it in this thread so everyone can take a look. You may consider having the new text in a different color to highlight the differences.

Good luck in the Pit!

-Nate-